It's been a year.

This morning I picked up the last bar of soap out of the back of the cabinet. The scent of palmolive hit me like a hug from a freight truck. Staying at grandma's house and getting ready for bed, she would pick up that green bar of soap, suds up my washcloth and scrub my 'dirty knees' that never quite lost their brown stain from 'working' outside with grandpa. Then she'd wash the dishes with the green liquid, swipe the counter with the blue dishcloth and tell me to go turn on Jeopardy or Promised Land. We would watch until we couldn't stay awake, or scheme about what random adventure to take the next day, then read in bed for hours.

It's been a year.

A wonderful year, full of love and growth: I said 'yes' to forever with the man of my dreams, got into a school program that is perfect for me, have passed all my classes well, and we have a sweet new little brother.

It's been a year.

I wish she could have been here. She would have been so excited about my engagement... it would be all she'd talk about; something she had talked to me about since I was in preschool. She would have told me more stories about she and grandpa as newlyweds. She would have been SO supportive of my involvement in the program. We would have had to fight her for a turn to hold the baby.

It's been a year.

Bucket List?

I had someone ask me the other day what was on my bucket list. I always thought of that as sort of cheesy and hadn't really considered this particular analogy for my goals before. The idea intrigued me however, and cliche as some of it is, I decided to put it down to 'paper'.
While it feels particularily selfish to say that this is what I want to do, whatever happens or doesn't happen is in God's hands and I know that the desires of my heart make me who I am, whether or not they come to fruition. That being said, these are the life goals I continue to strive for:


- Finish school... that one's taken a while, but has been a very fulfilling process.
- Work hard and do well at the job(s) God calls me to.
- Have a family: I love the family I've grown up in, and being a mom/wife of my own family is something I feel very called to when the time comes.
- Write the 2 books and poetry which have found form through my life.
- See some of the world: travel, maybe work as an interpreter/teacher in another country for a time. Basically get a broader take on the world and its many cultures.

-on travel specifically-
 - Camino de Santiago in France/Spain. This feels like a journey I'm called to take.
- Chilkoot trail in Alaska (I would be third generation in my family to do this)
- Go to China for the food and culture (and the great wall,) and to the UK to see the Universities and visit the Doctor Who museum :)

Pride and Glory?

What I've Done - Linkin Park http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sgycukafqQ

JOY: I'm glad the people that needed resolution will find peace, and perhaps some joy in pain's stead tonight, but celebrating the murder of another human being is not what we are called to.

Judging by proxy: Between politics and collective selfishness, all of this has been far more than 10 years in the making, is not the only consequence and won't be the last such 'issue.' One figurehead of evil motives no longer exists- this is a relief. But celebrating the death of another human being claims that we have the right to decide, and that we are owed the glory of being the judge. When we assume to hold ourselves as more worthy of life and celebrate the death of another, we lower our own humanity.

Historically speaking: Violence begets violence. "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."— Martin Luther King Jr.
Do we really think this will create safety, or do we long for revenge? Biblically, God did call his people to war- but differently. People did not celebrate the death of individuals. The victory as a whole brought relief and joy, but individual bodies were given reverent burials, respected as human beings and even mourned. Here's where I part with old-school Friends: I think there is a time for war. BUT (parting ways with many evangelicals,) I hold to mercy, love and grace for my fellow man and will not be celebrating following the death of another.

Glory: Yes, ending evil is good, but as my friend Lisby said: "Death is not something to celebrate unless the person has gone to be with the Father, I'll let God figure this one out."
The pride and glory are not ours to claim...

The Silken Tent

She is as in a field a silken tent
At midday when a sunny summer breeze
Has dried the dew and all its ropes relent,
So that in guys it gently sways at ease,
And its supporting central cedar pole,
That is its pinnacle to heavenward
And signifies the sureness of the soul,
Seems to owe naught to any single cord,
But strictly held by none, is loosely bound
By countless silken ties of love and thought
To everything on earth the compass round,
And only by one's going slightly taut
In the capriciousness of summer air
Is of the slightest bondage made aware.

--- Robert Frost


PS: so I'm on kind of a Frost kick, thus all the quotes ;-)
But this one really spoke to me of balance. Christ as the central pole, the steady thing which allows movement and flow around it as our life balances and sways about us in the breezes of life. Occasionally things are pulled tight by the summer air's tug, but never fully strained, just enough to remind us that the ropes are there and make life full-- but the pole holds it all in perspective if its dead center in the tent.
Hope its as thought-provoking for you as it was for me =)

Books

Help me choose the next books on my reading list!
http://sites.google.com/site/justmeandwhoiam/
=D

Dearest

-A letter I wrote for the middle of a story I've been working on about a young woman who writes to her significant other... who she hasn't met yet. This is the pivot in the plot, where she realizes that he may or may not exist. What I need help with is deciding whether she finds her God-given other half in the form of a person, or if she starts writing to God.-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dearest,



I miss your soul.

Knowing you by the space it will occupy satisfies like completing a partial puzzle. An incomplete vision of joy.



I begin to question your existance. My eyes and heart have been open, sure of this place God created for you. But others came, then left, making me wonder- do you exist? As I examine the print another's soul has engraved on mine, I question- are you real, or a placeholder in which God may pour his Spirit to fill this longing with Himself?

Is your heart still your own to give, or does another hold the place I never knew? I've examined the dimensions of deficiencies and excesses in my own soul, that I might find yours. And know it immediately. Intimately.



But I feel that I can remain in the space no longer. If you exist, I will wait. Forever. But if you are merely another emptiness for God to fill it must happen before the chinks that form around this empty glass in my heart become cracks, which siphon away the peice of my soul I reserve for you.

Though a whole with God, I need this peice.



Love- Me




(I posted this on FB a while back, but decided to put it here as well for further feedback. All prose and original writing herein is property of Catherine Stevens- thanks.)

Interlude

My blog is currently in an interludial state of being :-)

in·ter·lude  -

–noun
1.
an intervening episode, period, space, etc.
2.
a short dramatic piece, esp. of a light or farcical character, formerly introduced between the parts or acts of miracle and morality plays or given as part of other entertainments.
3.
an instrumental passage or a piece of music rendered between the parts of a song, church service, drama, etc


While everyone else on earth seems to be finishing up their terms at school, my school has 2/3 of the quarter to go until finals.
This coupled with the amount of travel I will be doing in the next two months, (Colorado/Kansas, Florida, church conference etc.) my amount of blogging time will be minimal, so I'm going mobile!

As you might have noticed, my tweets will come in here to entertain, along with the music, in the interlude. So, enjoy, take a break from constantly checking my blog, (since everyone does- duh! ;-] ,) and watch the story of my trips file through in tweet-form.


-Blessings!


PS- Foundry Youth will have a couple of Bible studies over Tok Box (vid-message) while I'm away, and I will post devos on the youth blog. If you'd like to receive the url for the study, plz email me or join our FB group =) l8r!