Transparency

Why can't we be transparent? Live in a glass house? What's so scary about that?

A pastor friend was telling me the other day that I give away too much of myself. That I should 'hold my cards closer' until I know people, otherwise I would get hurt.

Why can't we just live our lives so that there isn't anything to hide? Yeah, we make mistakes, but why can't we just own up to them? Be honest, move on, gain and give trust?

I'm not talking utopian here. Not at all. I'm talking personal sincerity and transparency. If you believe that who you are is the best you can be, then why not be proud of it? If you aren't proud of it, then become what you can be proud of.

God makes everything happen for a reason. Everything that was hard in our lives can be used to help someone else- but if we don't allow people to see who we are, then how are they to trust us, how are we to help them? Our pasts are to build on. To grow on, good or bad, God can use it all- if we let go of it.

When you build a wall, you aren't stronger- you're covering up a weakness. Hiding a weak spot from view won't make you stronger. It just hides it from your view and blocks that part of your heart from true life.

When you open up, you have the possibility of getting hurt. It's happened to me before, I've been called a whore for hanging with people who have that rep. Jesus hung with people- prostitutes and sharp dealers, to show them God's love. That doesn't make Him a prostitute. It made Him vulnerable in the world's eyes, but strong in God. Strong in spirit, heart and soul.

Yes, others may try to hurt me when I am open and honest. When you expose your heart it's open to puncture, but God is my armor. If I do what He asks, live as He asks, then He'll protect me or keep me through whatever happens.

That is my goal- to be vulnerable in the world's eyes, but truly strong. To be truly transparent so that God's love can shine through me wherever I go, doing whatever He asks me to do.




PS- that's one of the reasons I'm so smitten.... transparency, trust, God working through a person. It's a beautiful thing ;-) God-given

For the day

I'm headed to my hometown for the day. Going to church, hanging with a friend =D ( ;-] yay!) watching movies. For part of a day.

Just for the day,
I'll be home again.
Then back to the way,
My life is spent.

God brought me north,
To serve Him my best.
Yet I find great worth,
In heading Southwest.

Adventuring =)

lunch check. brothers? check. books and music? check. buckled? check.
OFF WE GO! :-)







Well, we're back from our adventure. We went to the Beaverton fountains, played, got wet, ate lunch, went to Cedar Hills Starbucks and made our way home =) Case was too fast to get any closeups :-( whereas JM got cold and sat with me, so he was in lots of pics :P hehe, they're cute goofballs... I'm a little partial to them =)

Adventure!

Today I'm taking the day off of hw and church buisness to take the boys and Aubrey on an adventure while mom's at her doctoral advance. We are packing a picnic lunch and extra clothes, and headed to the Beaverton fountain to play then to another park to eat. I think we are going to end up at the library or grandma's.... not sure about that yet =)

but SHhhhhhh- they don't know what we are doing ;-)

I have my cell with me if you need to reach me today- I'll post the pics tonight =D


Oh! and I'm trying to plan a beach trip if anyone's interested :-) let me know!

verse of the day

"And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:19

Verse O' the Day =)

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

from Air1.com

Change of plans

"I've commanded you to be strong and brave. Don't ever be afraid or discouraged! I am the LORD your God, and I will be there to help you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 CEV

This has been 'my verse' for a while now and the reason for my tatoo. But I was looking at it again today with new eyes.

I've always thought of it as- each person has a different calling, and God is with them all, whatever He asks them to do. Which is true for sure. But today I was looking at it in terms of my own life.

Right now I'm working in a new church with kids and teens, going to school... all of that. I know God's called me here right now, no doubt. But what about a year from now? When I have my associates, the church is functional, and I'm 20 1/2?

I have a friend who's going to drop all, pick up, and go to Kenya with a mission group for 6 months starting in Nov. In a way I envy him, I almost went to Africa myself, then said- ya' know God, I think I'll wait on that until I'm old enough for it to count.

I rather regret that. Even though I know I'm where God planned for me to be right now, I wish I'd had more of a heart at the time.

It could still happen though. I don't know what the next year holds, and God said He'd be with me WHEREVER I go. Africa. Europe. S.America. or even right here.

My life plan has always been:
-finish college
-get a job
-get married
-do whatever God wants with my life

But I was just thinking today how skewed that is!
Doing what God wants came last... like the rest was prep to be ready to. But He said wherever, and whenever. Right where I am.
I mean, He already changed that up a bit- I'm already working as a pastor, (by His grace alone that is,) and college is going well alongside it as I've worked off and on.

He's changed my plans in so many ways to fit His, it's only a shadow of the original thought- but I wouldn't have it any other way :-)

I'm just super excited as I notice how I need to open up my plans a little. Or a lot. .... yeah a lot. =)

God is...

amazing =)

Thank you Father for all you're doing. For all you are. For all you've made. You've made some amazing people, and I thank you for bringing such people into this world and for who they are. I don't deserve any of these blessings, and I want to shout and sing with how excited I am about everything you are doing! I don't think I've ever been so happy Lord. I want to know what you're up to, yet I don't because I know I'm not supposed to yet. It's like you've set Christmas presents out really early and I have to just think about it and be patient. I pray for that patience. I don't want to jump ahead of your plan and cause disappointment. I want what you have set forward in your plan, nothing more or less. Please give me patience. Give us patience. To wait on you.
Please speak to us of what you've planned so that we can follow you. Keep my heart open to what you would say.
I love you Lord.

Amen


That's the North Star. in the upper left and the glow on the bottom right is from the moon :-)

excited

Today.... is amazing. Tomorrow will be too. God's here, He's working. I'm just excited.

Sorry that my posts have been so short, I'll write more soon =)


and if you've never been out to the trappist abbey- it's amazing =) A great place to go and spend some time with God, walk around, let Him lead you :-)

Sleep Now

Sleep, dear friend,
As night pulls in,
The day doth end,
And rest begin.

Lay down your head,
And find that peace,
With nothing to dread,
As thoughts now cease.

I wish you sweet dreams,
Of beauty and love,
Full to the seams,
Of peace from above.

Lay them down,
Lay rest emotions.
Release your frown,
And your time's devotion.

It all has gone,
Slipped with the light.
So all that is wrong,
God will make right.

I watch your eyes close,
A flutter so light.
Now in repose,
As stars fill the night.

Take on His peace,
He knows what will be.
If your brow doth crease,
I'll set it free.


- To a friend :-)

Smitten

But kinda like:

and:

If that makes any sense whatsoever =)

Let me tell you~ God is amazing... and I love seeing Him work through people! It's like taking a breath of fresh air :)

I've just got to keep praying, because branching out within my own wants can't do anyone any good. But I know He has something awesome in store!

Gone

In Bend for the weekend- back Tuesday evening, available Wednesday =)

Have a great weekend!

Tilikum pics :-)