This Is Home

Where is home?
I've been thinking about this for a while. I don't really feel 'at home,' I've been feeling sort of displaced and uneasy. Not that my home isn't amazing, and my family beautiful, I think I feel about as 'at home' where I am as I ever will. I'm at peace with where I am- I know it's where I'm supposed to be and I'm headed in the right direction toward where I will be.

But it's like being on a long trip, you're comfortable with where you are, but know you'll find home someday.

I'm starting to read the book Living in Two Worlds by Mary Trenney, after it was suggested to me by someone who knew I'd been contemplating on this.

You hear Christians all the time talking about how this isn't their home, how they can't be in the world.....it's cliche and half true. This isn't our home, but we are in the world. When I let myself listen to what God is whispering to me without trying to interupt Him ;-) He often reminds me of that- don't be too comfortable, but acclimate, become relevant, reach out relationally, but know that you aren't staying.... this isn't your hometown.

There Will Be A Day - Jeremy Camp
I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you`ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don`t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that`s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life`s sting

But i hold on to this hope and the promise that he brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we`ll see jesus face to face
But until that day, we`ll hold on to you always

I can`t wait until that day where the very one i`ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that i`ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why i sing.

It's a beautiful thought. It gives hope, peace, and helps us understand our unease with the dealings of the world.

Seasons

Ebb and flow, constant change. The past is dying and whirling toward the ground in brilliant colors that give tribute to the role it played in who I'm becoming.

Life is like its seasons. Continual death and growth, anger and love, sorrow and joy. Every choice, good and bad- like a leaf, fall in unique colors. They are in the past and have fulfilled their purpose in my life. Then life takes a winter to rest and be ready to give nutrients to and nurture the next seasons' folliage.

But in death life is celebrated- it's beauty serenades us with the smell of decay and marvelous hues, reminding us of the song we are playing... where we were and where we're going.

God gives us seasons, springtime and harvest, in their time. He clothes us with new attitudes and purpose every spring.

Yet as the leaves, the outer things which clothe us, die- the trunk remains. Who we are doesn't change. Our roots are still in the ground, our branches still brush the sky and we can still house a nest or two. We may also hold onto some leaves. They are never celebrated but turn brown leaving us looking dead.

There's a balance in the flow of it in God's plan, never lingering longer than we should, but not jumping forward into a new season we aren't prepared for.

This Week

... has been the best thing that has ever happened to my sister and I. We've always gotten along pretty well for two girls of such an age difference who live and work in such close proximity could. But this week, my parents went to Bend for 4 days 3 nights. Aubs and I watched the kids- I in charge, she helping.

We got along amazingly... in fact we did better than get along, we had fun together. Singing and catching each others' phrases and making up songs. Playing games and tagteaming to keep the boys and house in one happy piece :-)
I think it was that there wasn't the stress of needing things done in a certain order or time that didn't fit the needs of the current time. We had a list of what needed to be accomplished daily, and were able to work together to make sure that was done.

Now mom and dad are back. And Aubrey and I just stopped and looked at each other, realizing that this week was amazing. It was fun, and the stress was good stress =)


On a different note- went to the Berg today for the QM photoshoot =D that was amazingly fun. Got around with Aimee, was in a bazillion pictures- funny and 'serious.' and now they are all swingdancing downtown... I couldn't go, but I'll go dancing with them sometime soon =)

Well, its a marvelous night for a moondance
With the stars up above in your eyes
A fantabulous night to make romance
neath the cover of october skies
And all the leaves on the trees are falling
To the sound of the breezes that blow
And Im trying to please to the calling
Of your heart-strings that play soft and low
And all the nights magic seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush
-Moondance by Van Morrison

Pirate party

The Way I See It #27

"Do not kiss your children so they will kiss you back but so they will kiss their children, and their children’s children."

-- Noah benShea, Poet, philosopher and author of Jacob the Baker, Jacob’s Journey and Remember This My Children.

update

-Classes are in full swing now, love my teachers.

-Ministry is beautiful, I can't stop thinking about it. I keep feeling prodded to focus there more, that since it's my life it should have some more focused time =)

-And I love my weekly trips to Newberg. There is such a peace in it. Beautiful =)


On another note- I've found a new form of exercise.... dancing. I used to dance a lot, took ballet and hebrew dance and did some clogging on my own, but it's been a while. So I started watching this show on fit tv called Shimmy... yeah it's belly dancing, but it's really fun! Especially if I'm just doing it with my sister- I don't know if I could do it in a class with other people ;-) the official costumes are beautiful, but a bit much for me.... or too little if you know what I mean :-) lol